Player-to-player eye contact is used to establish a private chat channel in an augmented reality (AR) or virtual reality (VR) setting. Since maintaining eye contact requires agreement from both parties, it allows both players an equal amount of control when performing the mutual action. Eye tracking may be used for determining whether mutual eye contact has been established. In the case of AR, “inside out” eye tracking can be used, whereas in a VR setting only inside eye tracking need be used. Techniques are described to confirm and establish a channel once eye contact has been held.