Apparatus for controlling vehicle impact absorption systems and related methods are disclosed herein. An example apparatus includes a predictor to generate a prediction of an impact event for a vehicle based on data received from sensors of the vehicle. The example apparatus includes an energy absorption allocator to determine an amount of vehicle energy to be absorbed by a crash protection system of the vehicle upon the impact event. The example apparatus includes a communicator to generate an instruction to activate the crash protection system based on the prediction and the amount of vehicle energy to be absorbed by the crash protection system and transmit the instruction to a controller of the crash protection system.