A system for reporting one or more events of interest in a structure, including an apparatus configured to be securely adhered to a surface of the structure, the apparatus having a flexible portion which conforms to a shape of the surface of the structure. The flexible portion containing a sensor to measure mechanical strain in the surface of the structure, and conductive traces to connect the sensor to electronics. The electronics to capture and buffer a signal output by the sensor, and a computational element to analyze the captured signal into a polynomial representing an event of interest. The system further including a wireless communication element to transmit the event of interest.