A computer-implemented method is for controlling access to a private message (1) of a user of a first terminal (4) to a user of a second terminal (5). The method includes detecting (8) the private message (1) and the receiver (3) on the first terminal (4) and ascertaining (9) the address of the second terminal (5) based on the detected receiver. A request (13, 16) of the status of an access control is transmitted from the first terminal (4) to the second terminal (5). A private message (1) is transmitted from the first terminal (4) to the second terminal (5) only if the request (16) has been answered by the second terminal (5) with a status notification (19) and the access control (17) at the second terminal (5) is active according to the status notification (19).