The disclosed technology is directed towards presenting an avatar in a virtual reality environment in different ways to different users, based on relationship data including a familiarity level and trust level with each other user. The familiarity level data and/or trust level data can be updated with each encounter with another user. The presentations of the same avatar can be different to the other users encountered at the same time, e.g., a lower resolution avatar presented to a less familiar and/or less trusted other user, a higher resolution avatar presented to a more familiar and/or more trusted other user. Audio volume and/or clarity may be similarly modified based on relationship data. A user having an encounter with another user may have a mirror view of the user's own avatar, and can improve or degrade the avatar's appearance (and/or aural output) during the encounter.