A flapper in a subsurface safety valve has at least one magnet that comes in close proximity with another magnet mounted in a fixed position on the valve body. There is a fixed magnet on the body adjacent to the fully open and the fully closed positions of the flapper. In each case like poles on the flapper magnet and the housing magnet come in close proximity as the flapper reaches its fully open and fully closed positions. The orientation of like poles adjacent each other creates a repelling force that damps or eliminates shock loading.