Methods, systems, and computer readable media for remotely evaluating and controlling VoIP subscriber terminal equipment using test calls, status queries, and usage statistics are disclosed. In one embodiment, a method includes initiating test calls with VoIP subscriber terminal equipment and obtaining test call results. The method further includes analyzing usage information regarding the VoIP subscriber terminal equipment and determining subscriber terminal device usage results. The method also includes remotely querying the VoIP subscriber terminal device and determining subscriber terminal equipment state information. The method further includes determining, based on the subscriber terminal equipment test call results, the subscriber terminal equipment usage results, and the subscriber terminal equipment state information, whether to initiate a remote control action for the VoIP subscriber terminal equipment and in response to determining to initiate a remote control action, initiating the remote control action to effect a change in state of the VoIP subscriber terminal equipment.