In one embodiment, a node may request to join a parent node in a directed acyclic graph (DAG) in a computer network, and may notify the parent node of a load associated with the request, and whether the node has any other parent node options. The response received from the parent node may be either an acceptance or a denial (based on the load and other parent node options), where in the case of an acceptance, the node may join the parent node in the DAG. Alternatively, in response to a denial, in one embodiment, the node may perform load shedding to become acceptable to the parent node. In another embodiment, a node receiving a join request from a child node may determine an impact associated with allowing the child node (and its load) to join the receiving node in the DAG prior to returning an acceptance or denial, accordingly.