A method, apparatus and system are provided for facilitating aerial refueling by controlling a refueling drogue. In this regard, a respective error for at least one state associated with a hose or a drogue is provided, along with an indication of a current state of the drogue. An actuator command is then determined based upon the current state of the drogue, the respective error for at least one state associated with the hose or the drogue, and a current command that has been previously issued to the actuator. A command, that is, an updated command, may then be issued to the actuator carried by the drogue in order to reduce or eliminate the state error(s).