A distributed instance system manages instances and communications between the instances. The distributed instance system provides a restricted set of communication methods to the instances. Based on the type of communication method used, the distributed instance system has knowledge of the messages sent by instances and can make decisions on how to handle the messages. When one of the instances involved in a message exchange ends, the host uses its knowledge of the message exchange type to determine whether to drop the message, drop a reply to the message, and/or send an error message to the surviving instance. An instance may create one or more child instances in a tree-like configuration. Status data is passed up the tree from children instances and aggregated in the parent instances. Monitoring data may be generated from the aggregated status data.