The APPARATUSES, METHODS AND SYSTEMS FOR AN AUTOMATED DATA EXTRACTOR (hereinafter “ADE”) implement efficient and scalable monitoring, regulation, and allocation of computational processing, data, labor, and/or the like resources within an enterprise. In some embodiments, the ADE may access data via a plurality of universal variables linked to tables and/or fields across multiple, otherwise disparate database systems, providing economical access to data in those tables and/or fields. In some implementations, the universal variables may be selectively chosen for broad applicability to a vast swath of enterprise data types and organizations, and may themselves be organized in accordance with a hierarchical schema facilitating business understanding and decision making. The ADE may further facilitate, in various implementations, report generation, data accessibility, scheduled and/or triggered distribution of data updates, and/or the like through the use of universal variables and economical interface features.