Embodiments of the present invention address deficiencies of the art in respect to presence awareness for instant messaging and provide a novel and non-obvious method, system and computer program product for adaptive instant messaging awareness. In an embodiment of the invention, a method for adaptive instant messaging awareness can be provided. The method can include receiving an instant message for transmission to a user of an instant messaging system and determining that the user is not currently available to receive an instant message. The method can further include delaying transmission of the instant message to the user until a later determination that the user is available to receive an instant message.