A system and method for communication and messaging among self-adapting peer nodes is disclosed, where each node maintains a list of authorized peer nodes. The nodes exchange requests directly with other nodes over networks, providing information identifying the requesting node and the type of request. The receiving node authenticates the requesting node, authenticates the type of request, and determines method of response to the request. If the request is authenticated and the type of request is valid, the receiving node also validates the incoming request and originating node and adapts its peer node database, applying any required changes. The types of requests exchanged between nodes include: status and location change, message, audio, voice, video, text, and data. The types of responses include: authorized, unauthorized, or ignore. The nodes may periodically send and receive requests for status, messages, and data updates from an optional central server.